You can't fly away from your problems.
Has anyone else noticed that traveling has become the new fad? Don’t get me wrong, it's a great fad, and I'm sure Asia is freakin thrilled to have half our city there. But have you ever really asked yourself, why you want to get away? For me, I was 100% running away from my problems.
5th month into my trip, I had a big realization that you straight up just can't do that! I can't enter a friends house without feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety and panic because if a dog or cat even touches me or my clothes, I'll have an allergic reaction. Personally this is so normal, and we totally all have our own problems but for me, I imagined that moving to Australia would be the fix.
Now I'm not going to go all buzz feed article on you and explain how I found myself and shit but I will tell you why it seems this way.
All of our lives we’re surrounded by generally the same people. At least for me no matter what I always find myself going back to my high school friends, falling back into old patterns and habits, and hearing the same advice all the time. We think it's NORMAL to not text the boy you like more than 2 times in a row because god forbid he’ll think you're crazy. Or wtf you're not wearing a bra, in public? Because somehow we’re even scared to say the word nipple. Oh and my fav...You mean you're taking MORE than 2 years off after high school?? Because holy shit, what if you never go back? We’re so brainwashed into thinking that we’re supposed to dress and act a certain way, beauty in originality is lost. But at some point when you're traveling, you have a huge realization that having bigger lips or a perfectly contoured face isn't going to make you happier in that very moment, and that's what it's all about, right? Being genuinely happy and present in every moment. How much better would life be if you woke up and pursued what you actually desired, and not scroll down your insta every morning only to feel shitty about that beach bod or #couplegoals you don't have. Traveling, (alone), gives you this opportunity! In every moment you have the chance to recreate yourself. Getting off the train in a new city is filled with so many opportunities, it’s insane. No one knows who you are, and quite frankly no one cares! Honestly you just gotta take that small idea in your head about actually doing what you genuinely like and totally rocking it, whatever that may be. And in my opinion, there's nothing more rare, more beautiful than seeing someone totally and completely in their element. What I'm saying is, you weren’t put on this planet to get a degree because your parents expect you too while also going to the bar every weekend because your friends expect you too. The biggest thing I learned this past year is to release things in your life that bring up negative emotions, and to cut off all expectations. Because then you’re only really left with this foreign concept of pure happiness.
My benevolent moment was when I was in Byron Bay, surfing with my friend and 2-day swedish boyfriend. With my feet hanging in the water I realized that life is absolutely amazing. How did I get to this place? All of a sudden I didn’t care what people thought and completely surrendered allowing my fear of sharks and looking bloated in front of my new but VERY real bf Johan to vanish. I ate coconut ice cream for breakfast every morning and practiced henna designs on strangers while wearing braless dresses all day because as weird as it felt at first, all these things just made me so happy! Since that moment on, it’s hard not to look at things differently. Like why on earth would you keep a friendship that make you feel shitty about yourself, or hang around people that talk about themselves the whole time? Doesn’t it sound WAY better to surround yourself with people that make you laugh uncontrollably and help make your future more clear? Once you start doing things that make you genuinely happy, your entire life shifts. Good things start happening for no apparent reason, and opportunities appear that perfectly align with your goals. People start entering your life as if they’re meant to be there, when sometimes they've been there the whole time! It just takes a change of perspective to see why you’re really here in the now. I think sometimes you need to just get out of your small city in order to realize that we’re all so used to our daily routines that we don’t even know what brings us true bliss and excitement anymore. The biggest thing I think we all just need to remember sometimes is that the past is just the same old story we keep on telling ourselves, and once we realize this, it no longer takes control of you.